I’m going… I’m not going!

There have been a lot of people entering my life without any warning and leaving permanent traces.
My most intimate and deepest thought goes to them because they’ve always left me with something interesting, a lesson, something evident.
But this moment isn’t dedicated to them.

This goes to those who, in one way or another, have dedicated me their time discontinuously, making me believe things and then, after reaching their goal, disappeared. Leaving the emptiness.

There’s a person in particular, hat I considered an interesting person. An 18 year-old girl (I was 27 at the time), Named Barbara. A skinny girl. She found me, randomly on fb and she understood there was something about me that caught her attention.
She convinced me to go and have coffee with her in Bellinzago Novarese, in a know shopping mall. After the usual practice of “What’s up?”, “Why did you hit me up?” and various excuses like she was a cat clutching at straws, after about 2 hours, we find ourselves in the farmland between Cameri and Bellinzago, making out like in an Amazing love movie. To this point, everything’s fine.
Until she grabbed my right hand and shoved it in her purse and among various lipsticks and women knick-knacks, I found a vibrator “XXL AMERICAN DILDO” that was almost 10 inches with an embarrassing width.
She almost yelled “This is my favourite toy, I think you might like using it on me”

I, caught by the discomfort i said: “IF ONLY IT WAS MINE AND REAL!”

She looked me in the eyes, took it back and put it back in her purse and told me: “Ok, nothing, Take me back to the shopping mall”.
I stared right into her eyes and with a shocked expression, I got myself together while she got out of the car to smoke her cigarette. In my head there was nothing but: “I can’t believe it, does this chick really wanna try this with me?”
She jumped back in and I asked her the reason behind this gesture, and she answered: “My ex boyfriend didn’t turn me on enough, so I got a collection of these, isn’t it ok?”. I was petrified, trying to find a solution to be able to give her the best of me, I finished by saying: “Ok, we’re doing this if you want, or else nothing”

She nodded, got undressed, I undressed once again Showing off my chest and I started touching her and stimulating her more and more to, then, put the dildo in. It’s been the least satisfying experience of my life.
She’s about 5 foot 1, super skinny and at every single push inside her body I could see the shape of that huge dildo filling her belly.
DISTURBING…
I ended up the night with a make out session, I didn’t even undress completely, because, between you and me, bad impressions were right behind the corner. As someone used to say, it’s like throwing a sausage in a hallway.
I got back home, still shocked by the event and she wrote me: “Listen, I honestly don’t wanna see you anymore, you’re good, but I’m looking for real love” and I, happy about the fact she took the decision, told her: “It’s okay, I understand!”

A few months later, I met her at an event in Milan, she threw me to the wall and told me: “Seeing you again is like feeling that sensation”, and, petrified, I moved her and went away. She wrote me thousands of texts and I didn’t answer, the whole thing shocked me a bit.

To finish off. I like them girls soft, curvy, worthy of being touched.
If you’re thin, at least stay. If you’re soft, well, don’t ever leave.
You’re welcome.

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