One of the first questions I get asked is definetely this one:
How can you understand wether you’re a DOM or a SUB?
The answer to this question is pretty hard to explain, but very easy to understand!
First of all you need to understand if and how one term or the other can fascinate you, looking deep into things and look closely at the situation, and trying to end up where you understand if you like “giving orders” or receiving them.
It’s not all about orders, it’s about mentality too.
You’re not a dom or a sub just depending on how you wake up in the morning, it’s more of an oppression thing.
How I found that out, I’ve explained it in other occasions.
Usually, I’ve always chosen my subs based on their own tendency to be submissive.
So, going back to the question, how do you understand this?
Well, during sex or during classic relationships with people.
For my “short” experience, we’re all born tending to be submissive as we all receive orders. It’s up to everyday life and the various duties that people give us, to create, even just by inertia, our role in this world.
A practical example is, if I have an important role at work, I’ll almost certainly become a submissive or a switch (DOM/SUB) and I won’t have the tendency to dominate out of work too.
On the other hand, who works for others or has an oppressive family, will almost certainly become a DOM as they will have to let their work and life stress out.
There are some exceptions, but it tends to be like this.
So, how do I understand it? It’s an inside call. There’s no RIGHT or WRONG.
And you, my dear reader, are you more of a DOM or more of a SUB?